The BadAds Weblog: November 2002

Sweet Nothings in Your Ear

Come closer, my darling, there's something special I want to whisper in your ear:

"All of our toilet paper is on sale through Saturday."

Okay, those aren't exactly words of woo, but thanks to American Technology Corporation in San Diego, that's just the type of sweet nothing that will be bouncing off your eardrums in the years ahead.

Back in 1996, Elwood Norris, Chairman and CEO of ATC, invented a new audio technology called HyperSonic Sound (HSS) that emits ultrasonic waves at 100,000 cycles per second, far outside the normal human hearing range. As the audio waves travel through the air, however, they're converted into frequencies we can hear. Since high-frequency waves can be transmitted in a narrow beam (unlike low-frequency waves that spread out like a fan), HSS creates a sonic "laser" that hits one precise point – ideally the center of your head.

Norris and ATC are only now bringing HSS to market, and while some applications will prove beneficial – such as ambulance sirens that clear the streets ahead while leaving folks on the side of the road undisturbed – the $600 HSS devices will more likely be used to annoy shoppers the world over.

As reported in Popular Science, "Thousands of soda machines in Tokyo will soon bombard passersby with the enticing sound of a Coke being poured, and several U.S. supermarkets will promote products to shoppers as they walk down corresponding aisles." Norris boasts in Business 2.0, "It's as if the sound is in your head."

Perhaps Mr. Norris needs to hear the sound of your complaints in his head. It's bad enough being subjected to ads on hubcaps, ads in golf holes, and ads in fortune cookies – you certainly don't need to have ads beamed directly into your ear as you go about your everyday business.

Elwood Norris, Chairman and CEO
American Technology Corporation
13114 Evening Creek Drive S.
San Diego, CA 92128
Phone: 858-679-2114
Fax: 858-679-0545
E-mail: woodynorris@cox.net

November 29, 2002

Microsoft Spreads Its Wings – in Our Face

Apparently Bill Gates and Co. aren't content with a near-lock on the PC operating system market. No, they want to fight it out on the streets wit h AOL to become king of the Internet service providers as well.

There's no victor yet in that war, but Microsoft has won the battle for the most annoying ad campaign among potential kings of Internet services. In late October, Microsoft operatives placed hundreds of butterfly-shaped advertising decals on streets and sidewalks in Manhattan to coincide with a press conference by Gates and Michael Eisner, chairman of new MSN partner Walt Disney.

"We intend to hold your firm directly responsible for this illegal, irresponsible and dangerous defacing of public property," wrote Cesar Fernandez, assistant counsel to New York's Department of Transportation, in a letter to Microsoft, as reported by the Associated Press.

Microsoft vice president Yusuf Mehdi, in a statement issued by the company's PR firm, said, "We made a mistake with the decals, and we take full responsibility for what happened.... We're working with city officials to clean up the decals immediately."

Why Microsoft thought these intrusive decals a good idea is unfathomable. In April 2002, IBM was forced to pay San Francisco $120,000 in fines and cleanup costs following an ad campaign in which "guerrilla operatives" spray-painted ads on sidewalks. Chicago also fined IBM after a similar ad campaign stained its streets. Nike and Snapple have likewise been punished by New York for campaigns similar to Microsoft's. (Strangely, the city fined Microsoft only $50 for the sticky pollution and not $50 per decal as it could have.)

Perhaps Bill Gates needs to be reminded of the limits that world-conquering corporations such as his must still follow. Drop him a note at askbill@microsoft.com.

November 14, 2002

Biggs, CA Doesn't "Got Milk"

Note to the California Milk Processor Board: Keep looking.

Only one California town out of 24 responded to the Board's offer of publicity and funding in exchange for changing its name to "Got Milk?" And on November 4, the Biggs City Council made it a shutout by rejecting the notion first entertained by Biggs Mayor Sharleta Callaway.

That decision actually came as a relief to Callaway, who had received thousands of phone calls and e-mails from consumers and reporters around the country. A few hundred Biggs residents on hand at the City Council meeting stood and cheered after the rejection became final.

Jeff Manning, executive director of the Milk Processor Board, was quoted by George Raine of the San Francisco Chronicle as saying, "It was the wrong town.... The focus became on how much we can give them, but that was never the intent. [The intent was] to put a town on the map, raise their profile, awareness, draw people to town – people who would spend money – and the town would benefit."

Um, Mr. Manning, wasn't the intent actually to take the town OFF the map (and sell more milk)?

If you feel Manning's being a bit disingenuous in his admission of defeat, be sure to drop him a line and tell him.

Jeff Manning, Executive Director
California Milk Processor Board
1801A Fourth Street
Berkeley, CA 94710
Phone: 510-883-1085
E-mail: manning@gotmilk.com

November 11, 2002

How to Stop the Pops

When we wrote about DirectAdvertiser.com and their pop-up ads disguised as administrator warnings in late October 2002, we neglected to mention how you can stop the blamed things. Shame on us!

Luckily, resourceful BadAds reader Jean Exnicios sent us the following:

"I chanced upon your Web site while attempting to find an 'antidote' to those infuriating pop-up Messenger Service ads promulgated by DirectAdvertiser. Upon further research, I DID find a way to STOP them and thought you might want to let people know, since it is so easy. Here is the URL."

"I followed the instructions for my operating system and IT WORKED. Since disabling Windows Messenger, I have not received another pop-up from Messenger Service. Blessed relief!"

Instructions are not available for all versions of Windows, but most of you should find this solution easy to implement. (Those of you on Macs can rest easy as always because spammers and virus writers continue to ignore our existence. Obscurity does have its value.)

And don't forget to let DirectAdvertiser founder Zoltan Kovacs know how much you appreciate his contribution to society.

Phone: 800-323-2146 or 866-691-7978
Fax: 800-323-2145
E-mail: support@directadvertiser.com

November 6, 2002

Milk Board Offers Teat, Invites Suckers

The California Milk Processor Board, creator of the "Got Milk?" advertising campaign, has launched a new promotion to find out which California town hosts the stupidest government officials. That's not exactly what the Board says in the press release for its latest promotional stunt, but a fairer summary you could not ask for.

Actually, to celebrate 10 years of "Got Milk?" advertising, the Board has asked 24 small California towns to consider changing their name to Got Milk? The town would become the centerpiece of a national advertising campaign and receive free school computers, new playgrounds, a Got Milk? Museum, or whatever else it requested in exchange for shaming itself before the world.

The California towns approached by the Board are Biggs, Vernon, Sand City, Amador, Trinidad, Point Arena, Tehama, Fort Jones, Industry, Plymouth, Etna, Isleton, Dorris, Loyalton, Bradbury, Tulelake, Maricopa, Colma, Blue Lake, Ferndale, Montague, Colfax, San Juan Bautista, and Del Rey Oaks.

Jeff Manning, the Board's executive director, was quoted by Jim Wasserman of the Associated Press as saying all he wants is to "pick up a newly printed California map and run my finger down a road and see Got Milk? California." Oh, is that all?

The City Council of Biggs, California plans to present the idea to its townspeople on November 18, 2002, but Mayor Sharleta Callaway already seems to be souring on the idea, saying that she's unplugged her phone to avoid reporters calling from New York and London.

The Associated Press article mentions that officials in several other towns said it would take millions of dollars to convince a town to change its name – and even then they're hesitant. Sand City Administrator Kelly Morgan, for example, said, "We're on the Monterey Peninsula and it would surely cause us to come in for some ridicule."

Pam DeYoung, a resident of Industry since 1977, was even more caustic in dismissing the idea: "I think it's retarded."

Not all towns are so picky. In 2000, Halfway, Oregon changed its name to Half.com for a year in exchange for a mere $93,000 and some computers.

Think Jeff Manning, author of marketing articles such as "Got Kids?: Marketing To Children" and "Edible Complex: Or What Kind Of Person Is Your Brand?", is trying to sell these towns a bum steer? Let him know!

Jeff Manning, Executive Director
California Milk Processor Board
1801A Fourth Street
Berkeley, CA 94710
Phone: 510-883-1085
E-mail: manning@gotmilk.com

Sharleta Callaway, Mayor
P.O. Box 307
Biggs, CA 95917
Phone: 530-868-5493

November 1, 2002

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