The BadAds Weblog: September 2003

Rated "G" for Grotesque

Saturday morning cartoons have always been little more than ads for products or brands: the Smurfs, Transformers, Care Bears. Surrounding these animated advertisements are, of course, more ads for other products that kids learn to love.

Unfortunately for the owners of these Saturday morning offerings -- not to mention the toy manufacturers – the rise of the Cartoon Channel and the Nickelodeon powerhouse that is Spongebob Squarepants has dropped the floor out of their audience. But r ather than admit defeat, the toy manufacturers are leaving behind the televised field of battle to take their products straight to the big screen.

As Evelyn Nussenbaum reported in The New York Times on September 21, 2003 (use "badads" for username and password), movie versions of Hot Wheels, G.I. JOE, Lego's Bionicle products, Transformers, My Little Pony, and Super Soaker squirt guns (!!) are all being developed. Such features follow in the wake of "Pirates of the Caribbean" and "Haunted Mansion," both of which are based on Disney-owned amusement park rides.

"It's part of our core-brand expansion strategy," said Jane Ritson-Parsons, president of Hasbro Properties Group, in a press release about the My Little Pony and Super Soaker movies. "What we're looking to do is really expand our brands within the world of the consumer, within every part of their lives."

Said Ritson-Parsons in a separate press release for the live-action G.I. JOE movie, "The depth of the G.I. JOE brand provides incredible opportunities to integrate the property into many lifestyle areas. From a highly successful publishing program to a wide variety of relevant consumer product categories, we are able to involve fans of all ages into the adventurous world of G.I. JOE."

Nussenbaum explains that while companies like Mattel and Hasbro are looking for new advertising venues, movie makers aim to use familiar brands to lure audiences back from the Internet and video games and into theaters. "Think of it as prefab housing,'' says Bill Mechanic, who oversaw "Titanic," "Braveheart," "Fight Club" and "Boys Don't Cry" when he was chairman and chief executive of 20th Century Fox Films. "It's a way of getting through the marketing clutter."

Mr. Mechanic, that's one of the most retarded statements we've ever heard, but it's one we've grown used to hearing from marketers eager to foist more ads upon us. They somehow believe that their particular promotion is unique, that it rises above the dross and filth of common advertisements, that it will be embraced by the public as the artistic beacon they've waited their entire lives for.

Mr. Mechanic, Ms. Ritson-Parsons, please spare us your marketing babble. We've heard it all before and it's getting old. In fact, let us tell you how old it has gotten:

Bill Mechanic
Pandemonium
100 N. Crescent Drive
Suite 148
Beverly Hills, CA 90210

Jane Ritson-Parsons
C/o Stacey Roberts
E-mail: Sroberts@hasbro.com

September 23, 2003

Snapple Puts New York City on the Map

September 11th might have been a day for remembrance in New York City, but the day before was all business with the announcement of a $166 million deal with Snapple that makes the beverage company's products the city's official iced tea and water.

As David Herszenhorn reported in The New York Times (registration required), the five-year deal gives Snapple "exclusive r ights to place vending machines in the city's 1,200 public schools." Snapple gains pouring rights in police stations, sanitation depots, and other city-owned properties starting in 2004.

In exchange for access to New York's children and public workers, Snapple will pay a minimum of $8 million per year to the schools and another $13 million to the city. It also promises to spend $12 million annually on advertising that promotes both the city and its products.

While talking about the deal, Joseph Perello, New York City's chief marketing officer offered this threat: "This is the start of a select number of really high-quality partnerships."

Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced the deal on the athletic field of the Bronx's John F. Kennedy High School with a Snapple vending machine and the high school's football team standing behind him, saying, "It is my pleasure today to announce the first official corporate-marketing partnership the city has established. Given the global popularity of Snapple products, this will present the city with countless new opportunities to make positive impressions on people around the world."

Are we mistaken, or is Bloomberg suggesting that Snapple has wider name recognition than New York City? That the city must rely upon the kindness of strangers with big wallets to make a positive impression on world citizens?

Please write Mr. Bloomberg and let him know how backwards his priorities are, how in the world that most of us inhabit New York City holds far more stature than some random sugar water manufacturer, how that stature could easily vanish thanks to deals such as this.

Peter Madonia, chief of staff for Mayor Bloomberg
Phone: 212-788-2728
Fax: 212-788-7169
Online Contact Form

P.S. Thanks to Brad Sagarin for passing along the NYT link. Says Brad, "As a native New Yorker, I can't tell you how proud I am that the city has sold out to Snapple."

September 14, 2003

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